Last Words

In my heart I knew this was the last visit. She knew too. Almost as a postscript, she asked me give her clothes to her sister-in-law, my Aunt Caroline. “Look after Caroline for me,” were the last words she said to me. I said I would. My mother died a few weeks later and I kept my promise. For the next 28 years, I did whatever I could to care for Caroline because I made a promise to my mother. Caroline had a stroke when she was still a young woman. It left her paralyzed on one side. She had difficulty walking and in the last few years of her life, she was confined to a wheelchair. She lived in a nursing home just outside Dallas. Her husband died and left her with very little other than a social security check which barely covered the cost of the nursing home. One son was killed being the hero in an armed robbery. The other son was barely surviving financially, and was doing his best to manage his family and educate his children. When Caroline was dying, I was by her side, my mother’s words were still echoing in my head. I was not released from my promise until Caroline breathed her last breath.
The last words Jesus spoke to His disciples still speak to those who would be disciples of Jesus, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20) In these last words, we see the Lord’s concern for all the peoples of the earth. Honestly I never really thought this mandate was for me. It seemed to me to be for those followers who were present when He ascended, or it is meant for those whom God has called out for “special service.” I don’t see myself as an evangelist. It is not one of my gifts. I don’t see myself as a real missionary. God sent me to Guatemala to work in an office, not to evangelize. However, again my thinking is changing. What is important to my Lord must be important to me. In those last words we see what is most important to Him—making disciples of all nations, being His witnesses. The command is to teach them to obey. Jesus also said, “If you love me, you will obey my commands.” (John 14:15) This command is definitely for me and for every believer.

Weekend at the Beach—March 14-15

The older I get, the more I value the friendship of women. The Ladies Retreat was refreshing and I had a wonderful time getting to know some amazing women. However I will never see most of these women again. Here in my little neighborhood I am having an opportunity to get to know in depth some remarkable women. Age has a great deal to do with it. Women over 50 and over 60 have experienced a good deal of life. Our legs may not be the whistle bait they used to be, or our skin as smooth as a fresh peach, but hearts that have suffered and have been broken are compassionate hearts. Over the weekend of March 14 and 15 I went to the beach with 5 ladies from my neighborhood—all of us are well over 55. A few won’t say how old they are. Three of us are widows, and three are separated or divorced. The house where we stayed had a swimming pool, and we all put on our swimsuits and enjoyed the water. Try not to visualize six old ladies in swimsuits. It really is not a pretty sight. Everyone brought food to share and we had a great time preparing our meals together. Guatemalans prefer their music loud and they love to dance. I think there is something in their blood that they move so gracefully to the music. What I love about these women is their pure joy in living, how easily they break into laughter and their remarkable optimism. Life has not been easy for these ladies. Lupe, a widow has two severely retarded adult daughters. I have never heard her complain. She praises God for everything. Rita’s father was politically active and was assassinated. Her 25-year old sister was in the car with her father. She was shot in the head, never recovered mentally and died two years later. Her oldest son died in a car accident at the age of 33. Rita has the most amazing sense of humor and she keeps us laughing. I just wish I understood enough Spanish to get most of her jokes. Andrea’s husband began to abuse her when he took a mistress. She said she could have tolerated the mistress, but she did not want her three children to see her being mistreated, so she divorced him. She is a successful business woman with an amazing amount of energy. Her enthusiasm to get out and do things keeps the rest of us from sitting being passive. These ladies do not dwell on the things they have suffered, instead they find pleasure in simple things: a gloriously bright full moon, the thrill of a songbird, the sun setting over the beach, eating mangos right off the tree. I hope I will have an opportunity share the Gospel with them, but in the meantime I am learning a great deal about life from them.
(I changed the names of these women to protect their privacy.)

MAC Region Ladies Retreat—Feb. 19-23

Singing, praising, sharing, learning, laughing, shopping, eating out—the MAC (Middle America, Caribbean and Canada) Ladies Retreat was all this and more. I really had no expectations for these three days in Mexico City. My only goal was to not forget anything and still pack a light suitcase. Approximately 120 IMB missionary women and a team from an Arkansas church convened in a large hotel in the heart of Mexico City for a time of spiritual refreshing and fellowship. Being a rather new in this missionary role, I am curious to know the stories of the other missionary women. How did God direct them to the mission field? What was the nature of their “calling?” Every person has a story. Listening and hearing another person story opens the heart to love them.

One story completely mesmerized me. Gloria Sloan was sitting next to me at lunch. Someone asked her what work she and her husband were doing in Mexico. She replied that she was a widow and that her husband had died on the field. The other woman continued to probe until Gloria had told her story.
In June of 1999, the Sloan family had been missionaries about six months. The family and five summer missionaries were on the beach in southern Mexico celebrating the birthday of their younger daughter. Eleven year old Carla was holding the hand of one of the young summer missionaries when an undertow pulled them out to sea. Gary Sloan and two others went into the water to rescue them. They were able bring Carla’s body back to the shore, but were not able to revive her. Noticing that others were still struggling in the water, Gary went back into the water to attempt a rescue. He and two summer missionaries drowned in the rescue attempt. Even as the bodies of her husband and daughter were lying on the beach and the crowds began to gather, Gloria began to witness, “If this were you, where would you be? Let me tell you where my husband is now.” She told them about the glories of heaven and why she had such assurance. Gloria said that as she held her dead daughter in her arms, she felt the power of God come over her and comfort her. After a time of healing, Gloria and the rest of the family returned to Mexico where Gloria is still serving as a church planter. Gloria is also an amazing singer. The picture above is of Gloria singing for the ladies at the retreat.
Our speaker, Connie Cavanaugh, kept us laughing until our sides ached. The laughter kept us attentive to hear the serious and relevant message. Connie had a secret which she successfully kept hidden for a number of years. She was spiritually dry, in a spiritual wilderness. Often people who dry up spiritually just leave the church. They change friends. They drop out of religious life. None of these was an option for Connie because she is the wife of a prominent minister. Instead, she spent years faking her spirituality. She had the vocabulary down. She grew up in a religious home and she knew how to put on a spiritual face. Her book, From Faking it to Finding Grace, relates her journey out of the spiritual wilderness and back into God’s Grace. Her three messages revealed the God who never stops seeking us, who pursues us and loves us back into fellowship. Like a desert that springs into bloom when the rain comes, we have renewed spiritual vitality when God pours out His grace on us. What is essential in the process is being transparent and truthful about our spiritual struggle. We cannot lead others on the journey if we are faking who we are and where we are in the journey. Just before Jesus tells Peter that he will deny him, he says to him, “I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me." (Luke 22:32) As we return to Him, we are to help our brothers and sisters become stronger. The writer of Hebrews tells us to encourage one another and to spur one another on to love and good deeds (10:14-15). We can’t truly be effective in helping and encouraging if we are phony. I highly recommend Connie’s book for anyone who has had times of doubt and spiritual dryness or for anyone needing assurance of God’s amazing love.
The Retreat accomplished its purpose. The participants were spiritually refreshed, encouraged, and spurred on the good works. Thank you International Mission Board for sponsoring this event.